The Great Disco of 2018
December 18th, 2020 at 1:05 AM by Kugee
On May 13th, 2018, with the maroon whale nowhere to be found, an insignificant salmon appeared. What would immediately follow was total mayhem torturing the Hornet Resurrection Cult to no apparent end. Some things remain unanswered: how did another party not clearly tied to anything like the Maroon Whales or the Tribute to the Eternal King of Soy take control of the channel, and who the fuck was Aqua? (answer)
Following the untitled video, a total of 18 fish were tallied in the comments. This comes into play later. For now, everyone was basically left in the dark as to what was going on. The highly anticipated Hardcore Windows 98 was still very much distant at this point, and the chaos that was to ensue soon would leave many worried if it may end up being canned outright. It didn't help that the upcoming videos only followed the already insane wint 4 trilogy from months prior.
The new channel owners insisted Kugee was dead, and made cover-up efforts of his legacy in the form of completely unrelated shitposts like a hyper cinema-wide video of a tank exploding a boxer and being blown away from the blast. But it was only the beginning... absolute hell was around the corner. Half of the disenfranchised grew irate, looking for solutions to "resurrect" Kugee, like sacrificing an entire largemouth bass laying on a Model F keyboard.
Come June 1st, it was revealed that Aqua was the one who took control of the channel. He boldly announced that the channel would no longer have anything tech-related, and an abundance of great disco music was bound to appear in the coming weeks. Sure enough, the great disco of 2018 began just 10 days later.
A video appeared asking the following question: "Is disco currently making a comeback?" The answer to this video was always a simple "Yes", but given the uncontrollable emotions of the maroon whales and their exhaustion from the disco war, they became so confused that they started hallucinating some of the weirdest shit beyond imagination each time they watched the video, like an ant riding a bicycle, Dave Dudley outtwirling a travel insurance advertisement, or a rain storm of Honeywell tower fans.
The maroon whales would torture themselves with these hallucinations for a whole month, until they decided they've had enough. With the help of a small, unlikely ally, they overthrew the disco regime. Of course, with Kugee basically being nowhere to be found, Grey Fish was granted charge of the channel, trying his very best to keep it flowing under heavy pressure, both in living up to expectations and something violently shaking his stomach before changing to a high fiber diet.
All while the disco was happening, another fish was having a serious case of the Mondays... so much so that he died. How? Let's start from the beginning...
The collateral damage from the disco war was catastrophic. Entire civilizations vanished without a trace, and the survivors were left to fend for themselves, often forming alliances unheard of. To corporations such as a very popular cereal maker, this amounted to several hundred millions of dollars in lost profits. A meeting was assembled at the cereal headquarters, to which executives debated on whether they should sacrifice one of their brands to offset the losses.
Chrunchy Harmonicas was on death row. It was the worst selling cereal box of the entire company, but was notorious for having a cult following due to its unique metallic taste. One executive was incredibly passionate about the brand and would have stepped up to ensure its continued production for many years to come... if only he wasn't "busy" at someone else's drunken palace party rocking in the hou
se tonight. Without him around for the meeting, the production of Chrunchy Harmonicas was permanently halted immediately by the order of the executive monitor lizard Magnum. It was not widely publicized that the cereal was discontinued, but nearly two months later, stocks of Chrunchy Harmonicas would begin to approach total depletion.
Greg. was an avid consumer of Chrunchy Harmonicas, almost always starting the day off with them, stating they've really helped strengthen his jaws and teeth as they woke him up to a series of nice musical tones. Little did Greg. know that when he ran out of them, the store he went to would be devoid of such a good cereal as well.
Greg., a sleepy blue floating fish, and Largemouth, a giant wasp, were not together for a long time. In any other point in history, one would've tried to kill the other, but the entire landscape being desolated by the tyranny of the disco forced many sworn enemies to band together in the hopes that maybe they can stand a chance together in the face of the relentless disco army.
While Greg. and Largemouth never engaged in combat, Largemouth would serve as Greg.'s rapid transportation agent, as was the case when they went to the store on the 55th day since the discontinuation. Largemouth suggested Greg. try eating literal fucking cockroaches as a replacement cereal; there's sure been an abundance of those in the disco apocalypse.
The store was not the same as it once was; as Greg. and Largemouth went through their shopping routines over the weeks, it started to look more and more like Cthulhu was the manager. The duo was relatively unphased even by the checkout counter being relocated next to a dead tree, but eventually started to run into serious problems when they got into an argument with the discount groceries clerk, mostly about religion...
Diminishing cereal was only the start of Greg.'s troubles. His credit card, which he previously enjoyed using to get cereal for free, was declined. On top of that, the clerk vomited all over Greg. and Largemouth, which provoked them so much that NOTHING HAPPENED - COURTESY DISCO REPUBLIC
Greg. and Largemouth did take the cockroach cereal home to try, but that would be the end of their bond, not because they got into a fight, but Greg. became severely nauscious. Largemouth carried him to a hospital to get him emergency treatment, but was captured and never seen again. Greg. recovered after a week, but his doctor was incredibly paranoid and could only think about killing him because blue fish were considered pests in society, treated the same as whales.
On July 20th, 2007, Greg. was executed by Death Ibex for being associated with the Tribute to the Eternal King of Soy, though he was only a moderate. What does the disco have to do with this? Which side did the disco even take? It turned out that Largemouth had been interfering with the disco broadcasts, struggling to send a message to anyone watching them. The disco got us! You must fight back! Buzz.
So what was all of this, really?
The great disco of 2018 was not just another channel takeover that mildly inconvenienced 23 viewers. It was also an experiment in exploiting YouTube's "trim video" function to effectively make the same video at the same URL completely change repeatedly, once every day. It was not so much like what happened in the whole YouTube Heroes thing where they can quietly and seemlessly overwrite an existing upload with their elevated database privileges. I had to lay everything out on one video spanning 66 minutes, and regularly make the video private so I could give time for the video to be retrimmed elsewhere without showing the full contents ahead of time.
The idea for a video that changes itself came about in September 2017, well before the Soy King Takeover. Several segments for the disco were worked on at that time, but the idea went dormant given its insane scope shortly after. It wouldn't be until May of the following year that I would return to eventually complete this project.
Now that I have full creative freedom again, I can very much get away with creating shitposts, but I don't have plans to make anything on the scale of the disco anymore. In retrospect, it was kind of a waste of time, and it shows given it was the most controversial period of my channel. Immediately after the disco, the channel started to associate with old technology in whatever ways it could once more, contrary to Aqua's promise because he is permanently ousted from the channel and dead now.
Whether the entire disco will be reposted elsewhere or not, I cannot say. It took considerable time to make, but everything that was going on behind closed doors as the disco was being made was deeply troubled. Realistically speaking, the disco wasn't what eventually killed my first Discord server, but more so all the factors surrounding it.
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