WE GIVE YOU INTERNET
OBEY OUR FUKEN RULZ
OH SHIT HEADLINE: FRUIT JUICE FUCKS UP MINDS OF OVER 3,000 SUBURBAN RESIDENTS
LMAO!!!!!: SEAWORLD COMPUTERS HIT BY VIRUS, SPOKESMAN BLAMES ORCAS

LOL FUCKIN WHOOPS!!! FOR WHATEVAR REASON SEAWORLD HAS A HANDFUL OF SHITTY COMPUTERS RUNNING MS-DOS 3.30 AND WINDOWS 3.0 AND THEY'RE ALL DUMB, SO DUMB THAT A DISK WAS SLIPPED INTO ONE OF THE COPMOOTERS AND THEY VIRUSED UP ALL OF THEM!!! NOW TRANSACTIONS CANNOT BE MADE BECAUSE NEW PEOPLE ARE BABBIES THAT NEED FUKEN COMPUTORS ALL DAY LUNG. SO THE PARK WAS CLOSED FOR THAT TIME BEING. WHAT WAS THE MOTIVE? COPS DON' NO ABOUT IT AND SOMEHOW THEY CAN'T FIGURE SHIT ABOUT HOW THEY FUCKIN' SHIT IT VIRUS WAS PUJT THERE IN COMPY.] AFTER SEAWORLD SPOKSEMAN JONAH BATWAD ACCUSED SEVERAL OF THEIR ORCAS OF PETPERTRAUTIATIONISMING THE FUCKING VIRUS, THR CHIEF GAS REQUESTED SEARCH WARRANTS ON TALENTED ASS-LAUNCHING KILLER WHALES (IS THAT A DEATH METAL BAND?) AND IT HAS YET TO BE APPROVED BY JUDGE THAT SAY "I AM THE LAW" ALL FAY BONG. THEY PLOT TO PROSECUTE THR ORCAS TO TEH FULL EXTENT OF THE JAM, BUT ELECTRODELIVER NEWS CASTERS SAY SEAWORLD EXECUTIVES ARE EVIL EGOMANIACS THAT PUT BLAME ON INNOCENT PRISONERS. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN MAKE MONEY OFF OF DUMBASS UNEDUCATED SOCCER MOM FAMILIES AND WHALENAPPED ORCAS DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD YOU ASSHOLE!!!

NOW BEFORE SOME OF YOU EMAIL US WITH YOUR SHITTY RANTS LIKE "OH, ARE YOU A MORON FROM PeTA? IT'S JUST AN ANIMAL THAT DOESN'T KNOW IT'S EVEN ALIVE YOU CRUNK ASS BITCH!" NO WE DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH PeTA, WE LOVE TO EAT FRIED CHICKEN, FRIED CHICKEN IS FOR EVERYONE! I BET ORCAS WANT FRIED CHICKEN, TOO! BUT WE RECOGNIZE CETACEANS ARE WAY FUCKIN SMARTER THAN YOU FUCKASS READERS. IF YOU SEND US AN EMAIL THAT INSULTS US YOU WILL BE FUCKING BANNED FROM THE ENTIRE INTERNET AND ALL OTHER ISPs WILL REJECT YOU FOREVER!!!!! BY THE WAY TILIKUM IF YOU'RE READING THIS I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FROM BEING IN THAT FUCKING TANK FOR SO LONG, I HOPE THEY'LL RELEASE YOU SOON, THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT RELEASING KEIKO BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD MUCH ABOUT THAT LOL